High on a Hill (with a lonely goatherd)

11:30
Where: Loch Lomond area
Who: Catherine (member of tripartite girl pact); Paul (center) videographer;Alan our fearless leader and soon to top my "most-hated" list. Not pictured... 20 or so others from church.
What: Euphemistically called a "hill walk," Alan is taking us up to the top of Ben Ime, highest peak in the area at 3,317ft... and more importantly (if you happen to be Scottish) it is classified as a Munro. [To fully understand this significance, google Sir. Hugh Munro.]
Why: Completely beats me! Just hoping that I've got the "moderate-level of fitness" Alan tells us is required.


12:15

After about 85minutes of hiking uphill, Alan stops us for lunch. With the cloud-covered Cobbler looming in the background, Catherine, Andrew (the crazy Scot wearing shorts), and myself are discussing the possibility that Alan may not actually be human but instead a mountain goat. I ponder whether "moderate-level of fitness" was in reference to mountain goats. When everyone has caught up, Alan starts describing the next part of the day (to give the faint of heart a chance to turn back). It sounds absolutely miserable... but sitting on a really cold boulder hasn't been so much fun either. Besides, it is made perfectly clear that I don't have the option of turning back... everyone else can do as they choose, but apparently no one will let me quit. I'm starting to dislike Alan, Catherine, Karin, Mark, Andrew and a bunch of other people whose names I don't know.

With the exception of Andrew, who insists that he isn't cold... "ya dien't sieme ta liese ta mouch height thro yar leages" (he hadn't brought any additional clothing), we start layering. I don a sweatshirt, my rainpants (excuse me... raintrousers), 2 mismatched gloves, and my bright blue beanie. Within seconds I've transformed into the Michelin man which is sad, because up till this point I had looked quite cute.

13:40

We haven't been on a proper trail for nearly 30minutes but we have reached the base of Ben Ime whose summit is hidden by clouds. Beginning to think that this is Alan's idea of a cruel joke. Tripartite girl pact (no girl left behind) is beginning to demonstrate its strength. Walking through bogs (extreme casual water) has me privately reminiscing on the landscapes portrayed by favorite author, John Buchan, in his thrilling novels.

14:45

Alan said the climb up Ben Ime was a gentle slope. Seriously?!! Maybe for a mountain goat.

Stiff wind in our face isn't helping matters much. Girl-pact is doing well, though one of us (I'll just say it was the Scottish one) keeps sitting down. Her husband is pulling her up the hill currently... saves Catherine or I having to do it.

How did Paul get ahead of me... again? He keeps stopping to video us scrambling up this boggy, mud-laden slope... I get past him and then 3 minutes later he is once again above us catching for posterity this very forlorn looking cast of characters (needless to say, Alan is in no way included in this description).

Begin to remember my fear of heights... or more specifically fear of falling down. Not really problematic on the way up. But those who go up are supposed to come down and its going to be a balancing act with the wind at our backs. Alan informs me that I "can't have a helicopter pick me up" so I decide to figure out how I'm going to get back down once I've reached the top.

15:20

While trying to keep my mind off of what its going to be like coming off this mountain or just how much my calves are burning, I start to realize that the first love of my life, Richard Hannay, was not only terribly and understatedly intelligent, courageous, and charming but was also in amazing shape. Buchan had this guy running around these hills -- suffering from bouts of malaria, shot-up appendages, folks trying to kill him, all while trying to save the world-- without missing even a single clue. Hotdiggitydamn...Hannay was one hunk of a ficticious character!

How did Paul get in front of me... again?

15:45

I have climbed to the top of a Munro. Course, I didn't realize that it was the summit until Alan assured me that this was in fact the end of the line (so to speak). Given the cloud cover, we can't see much... but we are above most of the clouds... wow, that wind is blowing them at a amazing pace and I can just catch a peek at the valley and loch below.
This has been really cool. Speaking of cool... its positively freezing up here. Andrew (Mr. I'm Wearing Shorts) is still claiming that he isn't cold. His legs have turned a simultaneous shade of blue and red. I'm starting to think that Alan may not be the "ruler of all that is evil." But maybe I'm just thinking that because I have proven that I have a "moderate-level-of-fitness" (for a mountain goat).

15:50

Catherine and Karin have made it. I point out that while we are standing at 3,317ft, I'm actually higher up than they are... at almost 3,323ft. Before we head down a bit to find a spot slightly more sheltered from the wind, we pose for a shot. What we are thinking... "Is there snot blowing out of our noses?"