Sunday, November 30, 2008

... a conversation to be

"I feel a constant thirst though I'm always drinking," she sang.

"That's ok" her sister smiles.

"I'm falling, walking stone from stone."

"Smile," the older girl says. "This song is a good thing."

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

playing grownup

We do the grocery shopping, clean the flat, and tell ourselves "no" when we ask for the 15th time if we can buy another pint of Ben & Jerry's. We have our own insurance, claim ourselves on tax forms, and set the curfews. Five days a week we put on dress-up clothes, get on a real live train, and somehow manage to arrive at so-called work before you-got-here-late-today o'clock. And we get the rent in on time. Well, at least some of the time.

We have these real responsibilities and people actually do depend on us -- especially when people is loosely defined to include our pet hamster, Frank, and the first person singular. So why does all this still feel like playing grownup? And what magic will keep it this way?!?!?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

smile, i'm broke

I am not a fan of the thanksgiving holiday. Truth is, I'm apt to snarl at length on the inherent hypocrisy of the event. One day to express gratitude? Really?

That said...

During this time of mass layoffs, economic nationalization, retirement-accounts-turned-vanishing-acts, and all the other financial hysteria, it may be difficult to recall that there are some things worth being grateful for. Things like avocados or cottage-cheesed pasta. Or friends who understand why there won't be presents circa December 25 or who appreciate that the week of Jan19 might not be the best time to crash at the DC pad. And certainly for bathtubs that are ideal size for long hot soaks that leave one's skin looking like prunes.

So, I am thankful for employment, my over-radiated apartment, patient friends, and yummy things I can actually afford to buy at the grocery store. Thankful today, this Thursday, and some random 45 second slice the first week of December.

Monday, November 24, 2008

apparently we do... some of the time

"We will not negotiate with terrorists." Not only is this ultimatum a foolhardy notion, turns out it isn't even true. The powers that be negotiate when the terrorists are AIG, Citigroup, Detroit, et al other companies too "big" to fail. Except here we mistakenly confuse this as capitalism, instead of what it really is -- economic terrorism.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

brewthanks

What if I had never lost my nerve
Or if the pain had waited til' later
Maybe then I'd be there
What if I had waited for the ball
Never wondering why
It didn't appear
What if I had made it one stop more
And kept the mountains
Where I knew where
What if I had left the party early
Smiled a good morning
Then stayed the year
What if I had made fewer regrets
Found less time for joy
Leaving it all a tear

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

oh, no!

Bad news on the pirate front. An Indian naval ship took out a suspected pirate mother ship. Reading this update made me sad -- its almost as if the governments/militaries of the world are uniting to destroy the romantic hopes and dreams of a bunch of privileged white younguns'. Hey grownups -- this is NOT change we can believe in!

Listen up, we want pirates. So here's the plan. Harass those guys, harangue em', on occasion even blow up their ships. Make it tough for them to score. Pirates are naturally cool, but pirates who have to be kung-fu masterminds of Battleship are waaaaay cooler. And do your part to keep our warm cuddly pirates bad ass and topical. Maybe stage a few inevitably flawed helicopter rescue attempts with camera-wearing commandos.

Give us drama, give us some laughs, a few poignant love triangles. But for christmas-sake, leave those pirates' mamas out of this.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

further proofs that i'm 5

As if any were needed...

I'm all kinds of excited that piracy is on the rise.
Yes, my wannabe pretend-to-be adult brain says "This trend increases the transaction costs associated with international freight shipment-- and that has to be bad for trade. Not to mention that the potential for environmental catastrophe for all the fishies is like, big. In the event that a hijacked supertanker has a spill, or goes up in flames, who is liable?"

But the real me goes "Yippee~ I want to be a pirate too. I do I do I do."

Monday, November 17, 2008

a declaration in the key of me

In my ongoing effort to eradicate the 1st person plural from usage I propose to:
  1. Amend Thomas Jefferson's application of "we" to I and/or the currently assembled group of oldish white men who kinda agree.
  2. Eliminate "we" from the first line of the US Constitution. The people is a fine way of beginning the document although, The currently assembled group of oldish white male property owners who kinda agree would provide a more descriptive and illuminating introduction to all following themes and items.
  3. Replace all instances of "we" in "We Shall Overcome" to you and I. As in, You and I shall overcome or you and I shall all be free some day.
Next word on the chopping block: propose.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

et cetera

Reasons I broke up with Daniel Craig:
  • His lovely, lustful toned abs made me want to cry
  • Financial troubles (i.e., he had a job)
  • He traveled frequently
  • When we cuddled he just talked and talked about his feelings
  • He quit smoking
  • Didn't mind filming steamy love scenes for some movie, but wouldn't film one with me
  • His overall lack of ambition

Friday, November 07, 2008

getting out of bed was the worst decision i've made yet

Maybe I got out on the grumpy side of the bed today.

Or maybe, everyone has taken more than their share of the oxygen and left me with the surplus CO2, alone in the sandbox.

Either way, I listen to depressing instrumental versions of rock-a-like songs and wish to be less fervently anti-doing-mean-things-to-annoying-people.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

got hate?

Sickening that 5,125,752 people can't see past their prejudice.
Sad that 5,125,752 people see fit to withhold choice that they enjoy.

Thanks, we get the message -- equality for some.
Thanks, we get the point -- justice should be blind only some of the time.

Am I bitter? Yes.
Because yesterday, a slight majority saw fit to continue tyranny.

Am I hopeful? Yes.
Because soon a generation will bring down this wall of hate.

Before us stands a wall that encircles the free sectors of this society, part of a vast system of barriers that divides... separates. Every man and woman is forced to look upon a scar. . . . As long as this gate is closed, as long as this scar of a wall is permitted to stand, it is not the marriage question alone that remains open, but the question of freedom for all mankind. . . .
Americans, Californians, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for yourselves, your children, your country -- if you seek liberalization, come here to this gate.
Americans, Californians, open this gate!
Americans, Californians, tear down this wall!

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

proudly exercising my constitutional right to vote no

The cost of participating in the voting obsession for a microscopically indiscernible gain (if its even a gain) -- is a deal I can refuse.

I have not and will not cast a ballot in this election. Over the past months scorn, rebuke, and frequent raised eyebrows have been levelled for the simple expression of this intention. Its not a matter of not caring -- oh, I do. Technically I'm even registered in a battleground state! So how could I say no to choosing between dufus 1 and dufus 2? Remarkably easily!

Click here to watch a fine economist explain why he won't vote.


Monday, November 03, 2008

on food

Spring rolls should not be consumed on an alcohol-free stomach, nor (respectively) after/before 3am/3pm.

At a tapas bar these favorites are termed "thin-sliced fried potatoes" -- when eaten out of a bag or a can we call them "potato chips".

Salted herring was not-so-much a delicacy in the former USSR.

Canned cabbage doesn't taste as bad as it sounds and it beats another night of ramen.