a final word...

The evidence, then, is that at the very end beyond thought and beyond fear and beyond even self-compassion and divine belwilderment there remains some firm intention to continue doing forever and ever what we last hoped to do on earth. By this final act they had come about as close as body and spirit can to establishing a unity of themselves with earth, fire, and perhaps the sky.

This is as far as we are able to accompany them. When the fire struck their bodies, it blew their watches away. The two hands of a recovered watch had melted together at about four minutes to six. For them, that may be taken as the end of time.

from Young Men and Fire by N. Maclean

always with me (english transl)

Somewhere, a voice calls, in the depths of my heart
May I always be dreaming, the dreams that move my heart
So many tears of sadness, uncountable through and through
I know on the other side of them I'll find you
Everytime we fall down to the ground we look up to the blue sky above
We wake to it's blueness, as for the first time
Though the road is long and lonely and the end far away, out of sight
I can with these two arms embrace the light
As I bid farewell my heart stops, in tenderness I feel
My silent empty body begins to listen to what is real
The wonder of living, the wonder of dying
The wind, town, and flowers, we all dance one unity
Somewhere a voice calls in the depths of my heart
Keep dreaming your dreams, don't ever let them part
Why speak of all your sadness or of life's painfull woes
Instead let the same lips sing a gentle song for you
The whispering voice, we never want to forget,
In each passing memory always there to guide you
When a miror has been broken, shattered pieces scattered on the ground
Glimpses of new life, reflected all around
Window of beginning, stillness, new light of the dawn
Let my silent, empty body be filled and reborn
No need to search outside, nor sail across the sea
Cause here shining inside me, it's right here inside me
I've found a brightness, it's always with me

... if i could throw strikes

Not to take anything away from Coach Kieran's finely-tuned weekly game recaps -- for I truly believe them Pulitzer quality -- I suspect they lack a certain something. Realism. This small criticism stems primarily from the failure to grasp a key reality, presence on the field. Me.

Of course.

All that is necessary to redeem them from this small, albeit fatal flaw is to include my highlights from each game. Which I will do for you, the reader, in just a few sentences. But yes, first I must positively confirm that had that foul ball hit the windshield or other glassy surface of the Prius, as opposed to the roof, I would have run as far and as fast away as my less-than-petite legs would carry me. Judging from my exceptional performance at the 10K a few weeks past, it is no exaggeration to imagine me almost 1mile away within 24minutes of hitting the unfortunate ball into the front seat of a energy-happy hybrid. But truly, all this attention is making me blush -- so on to the essential highlights.

• Trotting in from 2nd, I caught a soft fly ball. It was amazing.
• I threw home for the first time, ever. The guy scored anyway.
• Recovering a grounder deflected off the SS I spun around and looked intimidatingly at the runner scoring from third. So intimidating that passersby had their breath frozen and would never have suspected that I was dizzy from spinning to get the ball. Blurry-vision spinning. Given the way our team throws, holding onto the ball was probably the best play of the game.
• In the bottom of the last inning with my team down, I painted the right field line for a double. And I don't care what ANYONE says -- it was fair in spirit.

Next week there will be two softball games to report on. Till then!

subject: softball

When we last gathered on this blog to discuss my softball capabilities, I was recuperating from an intense interview between my face and a groundball.

This was a sad time.
I was sad.

But that was then and this is not then.
And NOW (drumroll please) for the not then update ---

I have

1. returned to 2nd base
2. not improved at all
3. hit into a triple-play
4. won the 1st base coach over to my way of thinking
5. become the official (in my way of thinking) team mascot

And just last eve I was instructed on how to hold a baseball bat; i.e, tightly. As in "not like I hold a golf club. Really?"

What an intense revelation!

how would you like to be blurred?

Don't Ask Don't Tell isn't just insulting to the nation's gay and lesbian soldiers. It isn't just an injustice to these soldiers. It is an insult and an injustice to their partners.

Click here for an excellent video op-ed on the matter.

There would be outrage if parents risked their child's military career by merely acknowledging them. Kudos to "Clay's" partner for putting a human face, albeit blurred, on this barbarism. And shame on the rest of us!

one of the great songs of the last century

He was just a Scotsman so... (click to play)

sushi

Its real nice. And at Kotobuki its real cheap.

Me likey!